Today I’ve started to wake up to the fact that all I need to do to teach myself patience, is to closely observe my little boy. His utter lack of patience is a result of watching my reactions to his behavior every day. He is so very much like me, mainly because he spends nearly every moment with me. He has witnessed my short temper, heard my yells of frustration and learned that if you want to get your point across, you need to be loud. I don’t think that I’m a bad mother. I just think that after taking the natural birth class to learn how to get through the pain of labor, I should have taken a class on zen parenting.
Seeing Miles repeatedly lose his cool to the point of tears while playing with his friend today, has pushed me to help him deal with the stress of not always winning an argument. I told him to breathe and try not getting so upset. To try talking about why you’re upset instead of yelling and crying. It seemed to calm him down at least for the moment. Every time I stopped to calm him down, it reinforced the coping technique for me too. It’s sad knowing that he has learned this reaction from me, but good to know that if I change my behavior it may improve his ability to deal with stressful situations.
It’s amazing how much our children learn from us, just by watching and listening. It can be scary knowing that we are their first and most important role models. That in itself can be incredibly stressful. So for today, I’m trying to remember to breathe deeply and to talk about what’s bothering me instead of yelling. This won’t be easy for me, but I’ve gt to try.