Who are we? Are we an even mix of our parents? Are we the company we keep, or perhaps what we eat? Does anyone truly know anyone else? We can think we know someone inside and out, until one day they do or say something that completely changes our perception of who they are. Good or bad, we hold on to images of people we know or meet randomly in our lives. Good or bad, we hold onto images of ourselves. Sometimes we look into a mirror and see something very different form what everyone else sees in us.
I cant speak for men, but I know that most women go through phases of poor self image on a much more regular basis than we would like to admit. We look at our reflection and find all the flaws that we feel make us undesirable, unloveable or unnoticeable to the people around us. Whether it happens once a month or once a day, it’s destructive and abusive. On the other hand if we are having a great day and feeling attractive, smart and charismatic, are we being too full of ourselves? Doubt seems to creep in at every turn for many of us. Even my most gorgeous and confident female friends have days when they can’t stand the sight of themselves. Why do we doubt what others say about us. Why do we feel like a fraud when we receive a compliment from someone who loves us? Should we be more attentive to what others see or try not to care what anyone else thinks?
I recently asked my facebook friends to give a one word comment regarding what they see in me. I asked for honesty, not compliments. Although I didn’t receive as many responses as I’d hoped, the ones that I did get said a lot. One word describing me.
For the most part I trust what these 5 people think of me to be true. They are all wonderful descriptive words and I feel proud that they are used to describe me. In my opinion though, there are many missing from the list. Some good and some bad. If I had to list the negative words that describe me…
Positive words would be…
Who knows, perhaps if there had been more responses, some of these words would have been included. But, based on the words I did receive, I would say that people see as a quiet, loving, creative woman that is proud to be a stay at home mom. I’m glad for that. Perhaps I hide the negative aspects of my personality well away from the eyes and ears of others. Possibly they are only blown up in my mind because it is in my nature to see the negative first. Do the words of my friends make me feel like a fake? Not at all. I just think that maybe that is what they think of first and not the little things that seem so major to me.
After one of my recent blog posts (Fatty, fat, fat), a friend of mine commented that I needed to find a way to love myself. Feeding a negative self image was a sure way to lose who you really are. It woke me up a little and got me back on the right track. It’s easy to fall back into bad habits and much harder to correct them yourself. Why do we need positive reinforcement from others to see what is beautiful inside of us? Has the media done us all in, thinking that we need to look like the models on Shape magazine? Or, that we are failures because we haven’t accomplished as much as famous women that are 2 years younger than we are? It’s a shame, but I suppose that it is also life. We need to be stronger than the magazines and entertainment shows in order to be happy with ourselves. It is an uphill battle, sisters and brothers. I wish us all good luck.